Forging ahead and some minor adjustments

I did well yesterday!  That has renewed my faith in myself.  With the way I've been eating, I spent most of yesterday morning asking "how can I take back control of my eating?"  The answers I came up with were:  1.  Start reading weight-loss motivating books again.  I used to always be reading a book of either good motivation tricks and why we need to lose weight or a memoir of someone who has lost  weight.  This kept me focused that every day counts.  I did some research yesterday and was referred to read The End of Overeating by Dr. Kessler.  I read a short interview he did and it struck me as so right so I ordered a copy of the book from the library.  2. Watch the sugar intake!  I went through a period of time where I did not allow myself to eat simple sugars the first 5 hours of the day and it worked! I did eat less.  I didn't maintain this particular diet trick but I'm reverting to it in my hour of need.  I did not allow myself any simple or refined sugars most of yesterday and I did feel more in control of my eating last night.  I still had some choco, but only one serving worth and I didn't go looking for something else to eat.  3. Keep working out hard.  Even if I eat poorly, I'm still making strides in my physical wellness.  I am up to being able to jog on the treadmill for 30 minutes.  Today I upped the speed toward the end of the workout.  I need to keep working out hard and keep pushing myself.  At least this gives me a good burn.  And I do feel more in control when I work out hard.

So far, today is going well.  I'm a little nervous about tonight because I will be watching my nephews at my sister's house and she has LOTS of junk food there.  I usually snack quite a bit when I'm watching the boys.  I must not give in!  I'll be reading and that means wanting to eat.  Maybe I should take my laptop instead and work on my book.  That's a good idea!

That's another thing, I've started a new book for the gazillionth time.  However, I feel really good about this one.  I have a plot that I think will work.  And I'm writing about what I know.  I am working on it a little bit every day.  I want to finish it!  I need to persevere and actually complete the damn thing, even if it starts to go awry.  I can do this.

I also will not fight with hubby anymore.  I'm becoming a horrible harpy and no one wants to live with someone like that.  Give in a bit, I tell myself.

Which leads me to my thoughts as I was going to sleep last night.  See, I had been on hubby about the money again.  And his response was he doesn't need a daily reminder that we aren't exactly flush at the moment.  He reminded me we've already had the conversation with the agreement that we both need to work hard and curb our spending.  So, why go on and on about it?  I thought about the question and responded that I feel like if I let go and stop pushing, I'll really let go and everything will fall apart.  If I don't stress about the money, I might not work enough hours or he might not work enough hours or we may decide to spend money on something we don't need.  If I don't stress about my food and exercise, I might give up completely and let my weight get out of control again.  If I don't stress about keeping a fairly tidy house, we may end up living in a complete pit.  The only way I know to push myself to live the lifestyle I want (i.e. a nice house, a nice bod, a nice wad of cash in the bank), I have to push and push and push and drive myself (and apparently my husband) crazy.  He calls me neurotic, I call me driven.  Either way, why DO we put so much pressure on ourselves?  I need to ease off that particular gas pedal, without completely giving up.  A happy medium anyone?