The Unforgiving

It was another tough day on the ol job site.  Another early morning meeting with the SIU staff, for which I was not invited.  Then, after having a discussion with a field investigator about an assignment, she promptly called my supervisor to disagree with me.  (Uh, you couldn't share your opinion directly to me?)  I hate, hate, hate knowing people are talking about me and it seems to be happening all over the place in my department since I've started.  Whispered conversations, sideways looks, being the only one left out of meetings... It could be my imagination, but I don't think so.

However, I have to remember that whatever my coworkers (and supervisor) are doing, thinking, saying, etc. it is none of my business.  Unless they do something that directly impacts me - like get me fired - I just have to learn to let it go.  I'm responding to it and I can choose to respond in a positive way.  At least I don't get stuck in boring meetings.  It gives me time to do my work and do it well.  It allows me to focus on the important stuff and not get dragged into office gossip, which is a downhill road.  I can be positive and have a healthy mindset and not get sucked into their potential negativity.  Anyway, people come and people go - in 6 months or a year the entire office dynamic will change, because that's what happens.  Things change, that's a given so I just have to wait out whatever is currently going on and just focus on what I need to do to be successful in my job.  The pettiness can go right over me, if I let it.

So, that's my current state of affairs.  I didn't get my bike ride in this morning :(.  Nor did I get any exercise in at all.  I had intended to go for a walk or something, but I just didn't.  I thought about it, but I just couldn't get myself motivated to do it.  I did go to the grocery store and make dinner, if that counts for anything.

Dinner was good - just some regular chili over some potatoes, with a salad and watermelon for dessert.  Not diet-y food but I'm just focused on not bingeing at the moment, rather than how many calories I'm eating.  If I can eat "normally" for just a little while, I will feel I have succeeded at a small step in the right direction.  Getting up and going for a bike ride tomorrow would be another good step for me and I do intend to do that.  If I don't, well I'll try again the next day and the next.