Deficit!

I've had two consecutive days of having a deficit! I'm very happy with myself for that.  I also went out last night and bought the Zumba game for my Wii.  I've been wanting to put some variety back into my exercise routine, but the classes are overcrowded and expensive here.  I really don't want to pay for a gym membership at the moment, either.  I've been reading about the Zumba game and, even though it's nearly Christmas and I probably shouldn't be buying myself anything, I went out and got the game anyway.  I'm glad I did! It was fun and a good workout.  And since I can do it anytime, I should have no problem getting in the time on it. 

This morning I'm intending to jog before I shower and get ready to go to my parents' to help put up Christmas lights.  I really want to keep my calorie burn up.  I've been hitting my target for a few days now and I want to keep that up.

Yesterday was a horrible day for me for some reason.  I woke up and didn't want to get out of bed.  I just didn't feel like there was anything worth getting up for.  Eventually I had to get up, but I was not feeling happy.  When hubby got home from work I instigated an argument from him.  I called him fat and lazy, although not in so many words of course.  I'm sure I was projecting, although he IS fat at the moment.  And he doesn't ever want to do anything because of his weight.  But, I learned years ago not to wait for him to do things; to only rely on myself for company.

So, I spent the day feeling sorry for myself and accomplishing little.  I finally got over myself in the early evening and got some stuff done around the house.  Then I decided to get the Wii game. 

I haven't been able to get on any medication for my depression as I had intended because my insurance denied me treatment with mental health through the clinic where my primary is.  I can't get in to see my primary until March.  So, either I go to urgent care and try to get medication that way or I wait until March.  Most days, I think I can handle my depression by just exercising and trying to get outside and trying to think positively.  Yesterday I thought I really needed medication.  There are some definite drawbacks to the medication.  I'm not sure what I want to do, so I'm waiting until March when I can talk to my primary.

On a very positive note, I've not had a binge! I'm very, very, very happy for that.  I even wondered yesterday if part of why I was struggling so much was because I haven't been binging and therefore the feelings got bottled up.  I'm not sure if that's really what was happening, but I'd rather that than a binge.