Today is my goal day. Two weeks ago, I set myself a goal of working out for 500 minutes by today. I've decided to give myself another day to make my goal. I've done really well and I'm at 470 minutes, which is awesome. I have worked out most days, some for more than the 35 minutes I needed to average each day to make goal, and some for less than the 35 minutes, and a few days when I didn't work out at all. Obviously, on the days I worked out for less, or didn't at all, weren't quite made up for on the days when I worked out longer. But, all in all I'm quite happy with my progress. I'm good with adding another day to the goal and not feeling like I somehow failed. I didn't fail; not by a long shot. I went from exercising one or two days per week to exercising nearly every day. And from exercising for maybe 20 minutes at a time to as long as an hour and ten minutes. The real goal was to increase my exercise and I did that.
Feeling accepting toward myself is still a struggle, as is not dieting. I went online this morning to look at new diets after a rather excessive eat-fest last night, but then I got ahold of myself. It is precisely the restrictive diets that I've found online or in commercials over the last 20 years that have formed my current relationship with food and I'm super determined to change the radio station. This might mean some additional weight gain to get there. While I don't relish the idea of gaining weight, and it seems counterproductive to being more healthy, I honestly feel like if I just stick it out and continue going as I am, then I will start to truly recover from my food issues. Restricting food is not going to help me. I really, really don't want to gain more weight - I don't like how I feel when I'm heavier; I'm having a harder and harder time trying to find clothes that fit; and I'm embarrassed about my weight when I'm in public. However, it just might be what I have to do to get to where I really want to go. Sounds crazy, but it's the one thing I haven't tried.
It other news, I am saying no to television this weekend. I spend way too much time mindlessly watching crap and I think I can find much better ways to spend my time. You get out of life what you put in and if I put in a lot of mindless TV watching, then I'm going to get out a lot of nothing. So, off with the TV and on with more productive ways to spend my time. I'm also going to be working on creating an awesome Monday morning, something to actually look forward to. I'm still working on that but I'll come up with something.
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